Sometime I really don’t believe that I am a confident person,  but I try not to let that stop me moving myself through the pain barrier and doing what needs to be done to connect with the right sort of people.

A few years ago a went on a NLP workshop (Neuro linguistic programming – basically analysising what beliefs that you have about yourself and dealing with them)
A few strange things happened:
There were 10 people attending the course and we shook hands & said Hi as you do. As we (me & my husband Ian) shook hands with a guy he said “Hi Ian Goddard” WOW out of 10 people what are the odds that someone there should have the same name as my husband!!
Over lunch at the pub we discovered that not only did the Ians have the same name (middle names as well!!) they also had the same birthday..spooky.
Joking I said to one of the girls “bet you don’t have the same maiden name as me though ..Pease” to which fell a horrid silence, “No” she replied,  “but my mothers maiden name is!!” Oh my God I can not tell you how freaked out I was, tingles down the spine.

Anyway back to this workshop you had to share an issue with the group that was bothering you.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      I shared that I had no confidence, I thought that no-one ever remembered who I was and that I was quite insignificant. The group were amazed and shared with me the actual persona that I give off (unbeknown to me!) Apparently when I walked in to the room I walked in confidently, giving an air of knowing but approachable, they all said that I was definitely memorable and they completely broke down the “idea” that I HAD of myself.  This was a revelation to say the least.

Since then, although I do still have the odd panic of insecurity, I do feel more confident, more able to hold my head up and say “here I am”. I also use a few little tricks that may help you too:-

If I am going somewhere that I am going to have to socialise and make small talk.
a) I tell myself repeatedly ..I am an incredible person and I am great at talking to people.

b) I remember a time that I did have a good time socialising and felt successful in doing so and I try to get into the same mind set.

c) I write some key things down on a flashcard that I know that I can talk about,  so if I get stuck I know that I have something prepared. Normally it is something that I have read on the internet that I thought amusing or interesting that I can share with people

d) Before I walk into the room I take a deep breath and decide I am going to have a good time

These little tricks always work for me and it gets easier the more you do it. And now living in France I am having to make conversation in French ..oh my, it is fun

I beleive that confidence is a state of mind, If you are telling yourself that you are not good enough, you are not worthy of being listended to, then that is the vibration that you give out.  You are setting yourself up for disaster before you even arrive at the event.

I have recently joined a mastermind group that is full of successful people, some learning (like me) and some who have achieved some fantastic financial goals and moving on to bigger ones.  It has been said before “you are the people who you mix with”,  so I am putting myself out there, I am ready to move into the big league,  which is a far cry from that timid girl a few years back!

I hope that my writing inspires you.  For more information (or if you just want a nose!) please look at my website.


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